It’s cold, it’s dreary, and there is sickness everywhere. There isn’t enough Lysol or hand sanitizer to combat whatever it is going around this month. We all just keep getting it like a game of tag. It sort of mutates then just hops along from one kid to the next and finally the parents. I have to admit I am not a loving sympathetic mother to sick kids. I just am not. I already knew I wasn’t cut out for the medical profession because blood, veins, and all of that make me queasy, but it is reinforced by the simple fact that I suck at mothering my own kids when they are sick. I just don’t have the compassion I should. Instead of going out of my way to make it a big deal, you know like kids want you to do about everything, I just say well then sit there and be quiet or fine go to bed. That is sort of about it. I offer a blanket, I offer a movie, I will go get 7UP and crackers, but that is where it stops. I don’t know about other kids, but my kids are not the hey I will watch a movie or my favorite show quietly on the couch all day type. They are not the let’s snuggle under the covers type. No, they are the let me whine and then yell, let me cry, and then tell you I hate you, let me pick on my brother because I feel bad so everyone else should feel the same way type. They are the once the medicine kicks in it is time to run around and around type, only they don’t pass out and sleep when they are done, they just gripe and fuss some more. I have tried to be a better mom-doc, and I think I have made some improvements because the first step is admiting that you actually need help in this area, but I will be so glad once the sickness is finally eradicated from our house.
It is the first time all month that all the kids who are supposed to be in school are in school, and I am well enough to leave the house, so to celebrate I took the youngest kiddos out to lunch. It was lovely. My daughter was singing and dancing on her bench, my son was taking his time leisurely dipping his hot dog and fries into both the cheese and the ketchup. This is the parenting I do well. This was lovely and so much needed. My daughter commented that the three of us had never done this alone, and it is true normally we have another sibling or my husband. She smiled and said she liked our date. My son later on, with cheesy hands, grabbed my face and hugged me. These were the rewarding moments I so needed.
I can’t do it all, at least I can’t do it all well, but I am to a point where I am fine with that. I will do the best I can, and for my kids, it is usually enough because they can see I am trying. Then when I have the chance to break out what I know I rock at then I will. Motherhood is about balance, give and take, there are good days and bad, and while it may seem like the trying days outweigh the easy ones, I am grateful that sometimes all it takes to lighten my heart is a well placed smile and hug, even if it involves cheesy hands.