Trouble with 2

Ok so I am sitting down in the kitchen just eating some lunch when I notice my naked son sitting on the floor. Then all of a sudden he starts rubbing his butt back and forth on the floor. Have you ever seen a dog with a dingleberry rubbing his butt back and forth in the grass? Well, turns out something quite similar was going on with my dear sweet naked son. He had pooped, took off his diaper, rubbed it on my bed sheets ( I later saw), and then just decided to come out into the kitchen to continue this rubbing- ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR!!!!! Why are kids so so gross?

This same kid is a runner. Not a fan of the runner. Do you have a runner? He sees an opportunity to go and he does. The worst part is that he doesn’t look back. He doesn’t check to see if me or any of his siblings are around, he just makes a run for it. He goes and goes, wind in his hair, sun on his back, and free like a bird. I am constantly chasing him down the street, literally around the elementary school, into parking lots, and through the whole house. When you catch him he just laughs, and if you say no he looks at you and just says-No? Then turns to attempt it all over again. This child better get a track scholarship to college.

My darling baby is also a super early riser. He wakes up at 5, sometimes the child will wake up at 3am but I manage to get him back to sleep by putting him in my bed, and he screams and cries. He screams for me and once he has me he screams for milk, food, Diego, new clothes, and whatever else comes to mind. This screaming wakes up his sister, who always finds her way into my bed around 1am, and then she starts crying. She either wants the same things as her brother or she is mad at him for waking her up so she is screaming at him for that. Of course, no matter what it is 5am, and now I am awake. This mother was not meant to be an early riser.

Yes, I am ranting about my 2-year-old, but really 2-year-olds are super gross and a ton of work. He asks for a drink and then just pours it out on the table, rubs it everywhere or he takes his food and rips it up into little pieces and puts it in his cup, and then pours the cup out. He takes food and he rubs it on his body: chest, belly, feet- it doesn’t really matter where- he just wants to be one with his food. Sometimes he continues to eat it, other times he just throws it on the floor and steps in it. Again, when you say no he just looks at you like- What? I am not doing anything.

Plus, what is it with little kids and tubes of stuff? My oldest son has prescription hydrocortisone cream, well he did, his 2-year-old brother found it, squeezed it all out, and then proceeded to rub it on himself, the ottoman, the floor, and the couch. He also pulled the bathroom step stool over to the counter and found the toothpaste and basically did the same thing.

Guys, 2 is tough. This is my 5th 2-year-old so it isn’t like I don’t have experience. My first kid thoroughly broke me in. I think I am just too old and tired now. I can’t even. Seriously, he basically just eats fruit snacks for every meal. I really hope that there is some actual fruit in there, even if there isn’t, screw it. I don’t want to hear him cry for 20 mins. over fruit snacks. At the end of the day he comes over and gives me this huge hug, with  big smiles, and says- Love you Mommy- so I guess I will keep him. He might be the death of me, but I will keep him.

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