Story of My Momma Morning



I haven’t had a shower in a couple days, so after getting the older two kids off to school, I decide it is much needed. The younger kids were watching tv so I figured it was the best time. My 2-yr-old heard the water running and started crying at the door. I ignored him, but one of his older siblings must have heard because in a blink of an eye he was in the shower with me. Of course, the moment water hits his face he starts bawling. I lift him out and for a moment he is content, but then he wants back in. Really. All I want to do is shave my legs.

Once out of the shower I want to sit outside and enjoy some of this lovely sun. I pull a chair up to keep an eye on them and attempt to read my book. My reading is disrupted by calls of: Watch this, Look at me Mommy,  and See this. Most of what I am seeing is a child inching ever so slowly down a toddler slide into the baby pool. Any time I lower my gaze I am called upon once again.

I hadn’t seen my 2-yr-old for a couple minutes so I ask the 5-year-old to check on him. I figure he is playing on the patio, but my son comes back to tell me Robert has pulled a chair up to the counter and is searching for the scissors to open the freezer pop he pulled out of the freezer. When I walk in I see he has emptied out half of the utensil container Luckily, I had moved the scissors yesterday. I figured since he has gone through all that work there may as well be popsicles for all. I don’t really care that it is 9am.

Now that they are distracted I can pull my book out again and try to read on the patio. 5 minutes later a naked toddler comes up to me with waffles from the freezer. Who thought a freezer on the lower half of the refrigerator was a good idea? Sure whatever- 9:30am sounds like a good time for second lunch. Waffles for everyone.

I decide that this is as good a time as any to make those brownies I promised to make yesterday. Once they are in the oven I try to read on patio again. This time my 5-yr-old brings out Battleship saying, “Remember you promised me last night that we could Battleship this morning?” I think to myself: I figured you would forget. I say, “I remember. Go set it up, and I will be right in.” At least I get brownies later.

I played a real nail biter of a game of Battleship. As we are putting it away in walks my toddler covered in blue toothpaste. Nice. Upstairs I go to clean it up and him as well. Kids are so much work. It is always something. They should really warn you.

Figure it is time to give up on the idea of reading. I need to do dishes. Clearing out the sink and run disposal only to hear a chunk chunk noise. Turns out a tiny plastic cup fell in. How is that possible? Now I have to fish it out. I guess it is lucky that it is now in two pieces.

I tell kids it is time for rest. I put them all upstairs and start the futile task of cleaning and laundry. For 30 minutes I clean, not that you can really tell, and think to myself that cleaning is stupid. Mostly I just transfer the toys from other rooms back to the playroom, which is filthy.  I take clothes on the floor and make an even larger pile of laundry.  Around this time all 3 kids come running down the stairs laughing and playing tag. This may be cute, but it is not resting. I tell the older two they need to clean up the playroom. Who knows maybe they actually will, and I won’t have to do it. I take the toddler and lay down with him in my room. He is screaming and crying but with me in bed next to him he eventually falls asleep. I check the time. It is only noon. For real. Just noon. I make lunch and tell the older two kids, who have cleaned up some of the playroom, that they can just watch tv for awhile because Mommy needs time alone.

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