Wonder Woman’s Mom Bun

I am playing with my daughter. She wants to us to be Super Heroes. She asks me what my super powers are. I thought about it and came up with a few.

1. The best hugger/cuddler ever. I must be because I always have people crawling on me, laying next to me, or sleeping on top of me.

2. Boo-Boo fixer extraordinaire. Did you stub your toe? Hit your head? Fall? Get stung by a bee? I got this. A kiss, a hug (see I am a great hugger), ice, band-aids, and chill on the couch.

3. Multi-tasker. I can make 4 lunches, call a doctor, tell my son where his shoes are, let my husband know where his glasses are, and wipe up spilled juice all at the same time.

4. Chauffeur. This isn’t one of my coolest super powers. It is one that I am very good at though, due to much practice. Take husband to train, kids to school, kids to practices, games, appointments, and whatever else pops up on the calendar. I can load and unload kids like it ain’t no thang.

5. Ability to listen to a long story and not die. Ok this one is a big one. Like the story about that one time at recess when he and his friend we talking about monsters, and his friend has a monster under his bed, his bed has Superman sheets but he doesn’t like Superman as much as Batman, and why does everyone like Marvel, that Avengers movie was pretty good, but Minions was funnier, oh, and did he forget to mention about his friend at recess who has monsters under bed? If you don’t die of boredom you are a superhero.

6. Finder of Treasure (and things that your kids think are treasures). Kids can’t find stuff. There is some sort of eye shield or block that prevents them from seeing the shoe, the jacket, the toy, or the toothbrush right in front of them. They looked everywhere, they have been looking for 15 minutes, they are in total melt down mode because it is gone, and in strolls Mom who lifts up a blanket and BOOM! There it is!

7. Laundress. I have the power to ignore laundry for days. Piles of clothes all over the house. Laundry in the washer, laundry in the dryer, laundry folded and on the table. I also have the power to wash 7 loads of laundry in one day. Do with that power what you will, but I have it.

8. Dirty Diaper Dynamo. I can change a dirty diaper anywhere with almost anything. I can change it in no time flat. Time me. I have done it in public, on the grass, a carport, a port-a-potty, the side of the road, and a grocery store parking lot to name a few. I have used diapers, shirts, paper towels, maxi pads, and underwear to clean up and/or cover a baby’s butt. It takes a special kind of mom to be a Diaper Dynamo.

9. Human Lie-Detector. Try to get something pass me. Go ahead child of mine- I dare you. Your verbal ticks, odd facial expressions, changing the subject, loud yelling of not me/I didn’t do it are all cues that you are hiding something from me. Won’t make eye contact, change in daily habits or actions– I got you. It won’t be long before I will have the truth. Watch out.

10. Speedster. When it comes to grabbing a child before they fall or run into the street. The ability to grab a cup or plate before it falls and makes a huge mess everywhere. Grabbing a toy that has been launched across the room before it hits someone.

11. Super Strength. OK I haven’t personally lifted a car off anyone or anything, but I hear it happens. I do know that I have had a bad strapped to my chest, a toddler on one hip, and a crap ton of stuff in my other free hand on a fairly regular basis. I want to see you mere mortals do that. This is some super hero mom level stuff right there.

Since I was playing with my daughter though, I wasn’t sure if she would recognize all these amazing super powers just yet, so I grabbed her Wonder Woman doll, threw her hair up in a mom bun and said I’ve got this- Let’s play!




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