The advice I get the most is to just put off the dishes, the laundry, and enjoy life and the kids. I think I took that advice way too literally this week. Here is the thing they don’t tell you- If you don’t do it no one else does it. It doesn’t clean itself up. What?!! I feel like I have been scammed. This is total bullshirt.
I got a tree, I put it up, had the kids put ornaments on it, and pulled out the Christmas decorations. I wrapped a few presents that were flowing out of my closet, that way I could go and stash them in the basement crawlspace. I have been doing my regular job of chauffeur, grocery shopper, Costco shopper, and returner of the the crap that doesn’t fit, and miracle maker of Christmas. I took one night to hang out with friends. You know what I haven’t done? Everything else. I put it off.
I tried to go to my gym to work out, but they didn’t have childcare. What? I pay a lot, ok well I pay a little because it is a pretty crappy gym compared to most, but still I pay. I guess I don’t pay. I am a SAHM so I don’t have any money but my husband pays, and they do promise childcare for those moments when I am trying to shake off those extra Christmas cookies, and not having it available just makes me stressed, and when I am stressed guess what I do?– I EAT CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!
My kids woke up, as kids do, and I have to fed them breakfast and then pack their lunches, nothing out of the ordinary here, but there is no counter space. Like none. There is some chicken carcass, protein powder, spaghetti from a couple nights ago, mulled wine in the crockpot, maybe I should heat that up and drink it, close to 20 coffee mugs, and God only knows what else. Ugh. Whatever. I just add more things to the sink and cram a bunch of stuff in the corner. At the kitchen table there are plates full of food my kids didn’t eat for dinner . Cups full of juice, milk, and water they never finished. There are crumbs that I just wipe to the floor. The Christmas table cloth I got out this week has stains all over it, so I rolled up part of it because it was gross and had planned on washing it, but I haven’t really gotten around to it.
As I am getting the lunches ready I hear my 7yo upset and crying. Yelling and crying. It turns out that he doesn’t have any pants. Like none. He is just sobbing. The laundry basket in his room is overflowing. There are clothes making a trail from the bedrooms upstairs down the stairs, into the kitchen, and down the basement stairs to the washing machine. They are all filthy. There is a long trail. I told you I heeded the advice of those sage parents who came before me telling me to enjoy the moments and let the laundry collect cobwebs. Now it is 10 minutes before school and my 7yo is forced to wear a pair of his 6yo brothers pants, which are totally making him look like he is about to go wading in the pond behind our house. I don’t tell him that though. Of course, I tell him he looks great.
While in the basement I notice, smell, our kitty litter boxes. We have two for 1 cat. They are pretty full. Like, wondering if maybe we should just go ahead and get rid of the cat so I don’t have to mess with those kitty litter boxes, full. I don’t think that the kids will be thrilled but they don’t change the kitty litter so they shouldn’t get a say. The lady who scoops the poop makes the decisions around here.
Now today, without being able to exercise at my gym first, I have to ignore my kids for a full 24 hours while I stress eat cookies, drink week old mulled wine, and clean up the house and do laundry.