To experience the loss of someone you love is something you know will come at some point because to love means being vulnerable to the loss of the one you love.When it happens here’s what I want to say to you. It hurts. It hurts in a place so deep within you that you never before thought anything could ever penetrate so far. The pain had to pierce your happiness, your joy, your hope, and sense of right and wrong. It had to pierce your heart and soul. The pain is real. You feel it physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. For something to penetrate so fully it can only have one word- grief.
Grief hits you when you least expect it. You are going down your path, maybe it has been smooth going. Maybe it has been bumpy, but either way you dared to venture out. You dared to dream; dared to hope. Then boom. It smacks you in the face. It shatters you. You break and fall into a million pieces. Your world becomes before and after. It is never again the same.
Grief isn’t kind. It isn’t gentle. The waves of grief come up suddenly and crash over you. They never seem to stop. At times it is constant. Other times you’ll notice days, weeks, and months go by before a song, a smell, a gesture, a turn of phrase, or a place sweeps you off your feet and tosses you back into the midst of your grief.
Grief becomes a place. A place you visit. A place you drive by. Over time it may change. It may not have such distinct sharp jagged boundaries, but it is always there.
One day you will notice that grief has made a pocket in your soul. Grief was needed. It had to tear you apart so when you were built back up there would be a hole inside of you where you could keep stories, voices, touches, moments, and memories.